Taking a Break

I'm going to be taking a break from this blog for a while. I'm headed off on vacation, I've been dumped by a guy, and I need to feel my feelings without sharing right now. Thanks for understanding and I'll be back before too long.

Rocking the Look

My daughter and I share a style maxim: as long as you have to get dressed every day, you might as well look fabulous. Granted, there are many days when I neither live up to that nor even care, but for the most part I do enjoy the pleasures of a great dress, some great shoes, and fabulous accessories.

Back in the 80's, Donna Karan provided many of us working women with the keys to looking fabulous all the time with her power jackets, body suits, and sexily draped skirts. Today life is so much more casual, power dressing no longer plays a part in my choices, and my professional identity is inextricably linked to art, so the challenge of what to wear to an event is far more interesting than it used to be. Add to the mix that lately I have been invited to events with Silicon Valley types and I find the I've been questioning what's appropriate to wear to where.

The answer? Bingo. Wear what I want. Or as Zana posted on her mirror when she was 8 years old, "Be Yourself". It worked for me Sunday evening out on the beach in Half Moon Bay with a bunch of venture capitalists, as it did for Katy, also shown in the photo. Ourselves, our way, our fabulous.

Putting on a Public Face

I've just finished reading Mika Brzezinski's memoir "All Things At Once" chronicling her journey and struggle as a working mother/wife, a woman who has experienced major ups and downs and ups in her career as a television journalist, and one near-miss tragedy in her personal life. As I read it, I could not help but think about a similar book, Barbara Walters' "Audition". In both books, the authors talked about their issues of trying to do it all, their issues of working in a male-dominated profession, and the realities of having to be a pretty face in addition to an outstanding professional.

In some ways it is a relief to know that even women at the top of the celebrity game have many of the same struggles that we mere mortals have. I know many working moms who feel like they have to work incredibly hard just to prove (to whom?) that they have their minds on the job at all times, yet always feel like they are falling short. These same women work equally hard to be great mothers, to spend meaningful time with their children yet always feel like it's not enough.

On the other hand, it also saddens me to know that these women at the top, Barbara and Mika, also struggle with the image issue as well. Obviously, in television broadcasting, image is so important it can get you hired - or fired, something which is not supposed to be able to happen in a fair workplace. Luckily, that is not the case for most of us, yet we all know that hiring managers cannot help but notice someone's appearance.

It is all coming home for me as I prepare to be profiled in the San Francisco Chronicle. I have worked hard to answer the interviewer's questions in a way that I believe truly expresses my beliefs around the world of art. Yet here I am, the day before the photoshoot for the picture that will accompany the article, angsting about every detail of my appearance - as if that is what I'll be judged on by readers.

The balance between brains and looks, ambition and lifestyle, trying too hard and not having the energy to try hard enough is yet another of version of the 50/50 challenge.

Love At First Sight

Wham! It happened. Love at first sight. It happened to me this week with a work of art by Jim Nelson. Jim happened to be coming through town and stopped in at the office with many of his pieces to show us in person at Artful Home. I had been extremely attracted to his work since the first time I saw photos of it, had been mildly disappointed with the one piece I had seen in person, so was prepared for this viewing with mixed preconceptions. I must admit that I had played out the scenario in my mind many times of what I would do with a piece by Jim in my home. And then it happened. There, on the opposite end of the room, was the most beautiful stranger, a piece that spoke to so many parts of me, that was everything I had hoped a piece by Jim would be, a piece with which I immediately fell in love. And immediately bought. Gulp!

I've done this before, felt that strong visceral attraction to art, known immediately that it was "the one", and acted. Most of the time, these impetuous purchases have been spot on, as I have remained in love with the work and have lived with it for years. Occasionally, it turns out what I thought was love was merely lust, or a misplaced substitute for something else, and the piece gets placed in my home and then gently moved out.

Of course, this really isn't so different from falling in love with people. When I met my newest best friend, I knew immediately that I was attracted to so many aspects of her very being; now this new friendship has blossomed and grown in ways I never could have imagined. While I knew I was looking to engage with new people, I never went to that particular party where we met looking for a new best friend. It just happened.

Romantic love is not so different, though ever so much more complicated. There, I'm afraid, lust has led me far too often into thinking I'm in love. And just as with the most recent art purchase, my impetuous nature acts on love/lust quickly. But unlike art which you have to purchase and live with (and then can remove without undue emotional pain), I'm trying to treat romance more like a lease with an option to buy. I do fall in love, head over heels infatuation, and I love the feeling. I also know that the real thing is much deeper and harder and ultimately even more joyful than that first strike by Cupid's arrow.

One Size Fits All? Think Again

In the world of fashion, there exists an occasionally-employed sizing device of "one size fits all" (OSFA). Loosely translated, this usually ends up meaning something more like one size fits few, and most will have to make do somehow. I've learned to be cautious and somewhat skeptical when I see OSFA in clothing, as how is it remotely possible that the same garment could fit me at 5'9" and 130 pounds and my sister at 5'2 and 110 pounds.

I've been using the metaphor of "trying on different dresses" to describe what exploring the dating world has been like, and not surprisingly, am finding that here, too, one size definitely does NOT fit all, particularly as far as communication goes. In the old days, when there were only land-line phones, you either spoke to someone or saw him, plain and simple. (In the old, old days, you waited for him to call, too, but that's another whole story!) Now, with text, phone, Facebook, email, Skype,and online dating, there are not only multiple methods of communication, but such different comfort zones with each! With one man I'm seeing, we pick up the phone and call each other frequently, a reminder that although we may not see each other for weeks, we're part of each others' lives. Another man I'm seeing is quite content with the occasional email and picking up where we last left off when we see each other. I've dated a man who does not have a cell phone(!), another one who only checks his email at night, and yet others for whom their iPhones have become appendages.

What has become obvious is that clarity of communication does, indeed, have to fit all. The banter of email can lead to misconstrued intent, the awkwardness of long pauses on the phone can lead to unintended messages, and dead cell phone batteries can lead to missed signals. It's funny how with more modes of communication available than ever, the need for getting the right fit of a clear message is more important than ever.

Yes, Great Design and Attitude Can Co-Exist

This past week in Chicago I stayed at a new (to me) hotel, Dana (not "the" Dana or "Hotel" Dana, just Dana), and as anyone who has seen my Facebook posts knows, I am absolutely smitten with this place. I've Yelped about it and written my praise directly to the hotel. Why? Because this place manages to pull off great design, a modern vibe, delicious comfort, and superb service.

Often it has been my experience that hip, modern, uber-designed hotels also come replete with attitude. I refer to these hotels as "homes of the terminally hip", places where you are ignored for as long as possible if you don't seem cool enough, and where there always seems to be some sort of secret handshake that I don't know. Think the Ian Schrager hotels, where it's impossible to use a sink without splashing all over the beautiful tiny bathrooms. Think So-Ho not-so Grand and the imperious reception staff. But not Dana. Dana was just right.

The entire visual experience was stimulating and well curated, from the giant mosaic behind the reception desk to the undulating carved and sculpted walls. While all of this might have been overwhelming, the friendliness of the staff acted as a counterpoint to the supreme visuals. Everyone - EVERYONE - was extremely friendly and outgoing, hip and helpful. This was much like the experience a friend and I had a few months ago at the Black Cat Bistro in Boulder, where the outstanding food was accompanied by a consistently attentive, knowledgeable and friendly staff. We learned at Black Cat that the chef-owner actually Myers-Briggs types all potential hires, and only hires people he likes, with less regard to their experience and more regard to their personality. It made me wonder if a similar hiring practice is employed at Dana as well.

However they make it happen at Dana, my hat goes off to them. Businesses like this fuel my optimism and belief that great design can - and should - co-exist with great social behavior.

Self-care

I was thinking about the concept of self-care the other night as I returned from a rigorous day of work and checked into my hotel spa for a massage. Once upon a time I might have considered getting a massage to be overly self-indulgent, but that night I knew that I was in need of some downtime, some "only about me" time.

Several years ago one of my very closest friends introduced me to the term "selfcare", as in, "What are YOU doing for self-care these days?" At that time I was doing very little, being a full-time executive and a full-time mom. Somehow, I never seemed to "find" the time to think about me. The problem with that is that it becomes a habit, a way of life, until you can begin to think that there's not much of you left to care for.

Once my kids were grown, it was obvious that there was a great big hole where Lisa used to be, a hole left by my ignoring myself while tending to others. And so, I have been exploring how to take care of myself, looking at everything from exercise to eating, sex to mani-pedi's, vacations with friends to turning off the phones when I want to be alone, massages to beach walks. While I may still have difficulties recognizing when I need some self-care, I figure it's better late than never. And I am fortunate to have friends who are willing to act as my mirror and give me a little nudge now and then.