"Are you a large ring person?" asked a manfriend (MF?) of mine when I was sporting this very large ebony ring given to me the other day by a gallery owner in San Francisco. I know that I would never have purchased this ring for myself, nor any other ring which spanned two or three fingers as this one did. I would normally say, "Wow" and move on, but since this had been a gift, I decided to try wearing it for an hour so I could answer my friend's question - am I a large ring person? - and if not, why not.
Earlier in the same day, I had been in a similar situation in the designer section of Nordstrom. I'd been on a hunt for clothing to use in an upcoming photoshoot, and thus was searching and trying on a number of pieces for consideration. My very helpful saleswoman decided to bring many clothes to the dressing room that I never would have selected, and since I was in a good mood, I decided to try them on. So, had my MF been with me in Nordstrom earlier, he might have asked, "Are you a daring Helmut Lang dress person?"
The reason I am dwelling on this is that questioning some of my assumptions about myself - what I have always done vs what I've just plain been scared to do in the past - is one of my approaches to life right now. I am finding that there are many experiences which I had never tried or had shut out of my life for decades which I am thoroughly enjoying adding to my repertoire. Just as shoes with high heels and dresses with tighter fits have entered my wardrobe, so too have Pilates, Zumba, and late-night escapades.
But for the most part, I really do know who I am. I'm not looking to redefine myself. That's one of the great joys of being in my 50's - knowing and feeling confident. So I really can answer my friend with a "No" - as the big ring feels like it enters the room before I do, and the Helmut Lang dress feels like I'm pretending to be 21 again. Neither of those are me.
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