Tuesday, January 25, 2011


I thought that long ago I had gotten over the fairytale fantasy of Prince Charming, the White Knight, the frog who turns into a prince when kissed, the almighty made-up man who would sweep me off my feet and deliver happiness ever after. I booed those fairytales, shunned them and mocked them as part of my feminist beliefs. I tried to raise my daughter without those fairytales, hoping to present the world to her in a more realistic fashion so that she understood there would not be a quick fix in life nor should she be waiting around for a man to be that.

But now I realize that there is a real-life flipside version of those stories worth paying attention to, and that is kissing the prince only to learn that he is, actually, a mere frog, or, more politely, a mere commoner like me. The element of fantasy involved in forming a love relationship can easily elevate my picture of someone to princehood, proving that, perhaps I am still expecting Prince Charming to show up! And princehood is very hard for someone else to live up to, either in real life or in my fantasy life, especially when he just thought he was showing up as a man. People have advised me that the world of dating involves "kissing a lot of frogs" before one meets the right person, but really, isn't it so much more about seeing that someone is neither frog nor prince, and showing myself as just who I am, neither Barbie nor Rapunzel?

I find Sara Bareilles' take on fairytale endings to be a different but just right take on the subject,maybe not happily ever after, but real. And afterall, that is what we are living: reality.

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